Lately, I’ve been struggling with the fact that I’m not as close as I used to be with my friends from back home. I was used to seeing them and talking with them everyday. Now, I’m lucky if they even like my most recent Insta post. I know they say that as you grow older, your group of friends gets smaller, but how do you cope with that?
I remember when I first started at Crowder and I left my group of friends back in my hometown. It was so weird not having them to lean on when things got tough here. The friendship slowly starts to fade. You go from texting every other day, to maybe twice a week, and then like you said, you’re lucky if they even acknowledge you on social media. Ouch.
There’s no easy way to deal with it. Slowly you’ll begin to make other friends, you’ll find new things to take up your time, and out of nowhere that friendship is just pictures with memories.
I think at this point in time, I’m only in close contact with two of my friends from high school. It’s great to have people who know every thing about you and have so many crazy memories with, but its even better to make new memories with new people. The people at college get to meet a new you. You’re not who you were in high school, you’re growing into who you’re supposed to be and your new friends get to be a part of that.
Friendships fade; it’s a part of life. Some hurt more than others, but it’s part of the growing process. Those who want to be in your life will make the effort . Those who don’t make the effort are not worth your time. You’re going to meet so many amazing people in your life, you should look forward to those new friendships. Sometimes people come into your life for a short period of time, and you should appreciate the memories you have and look forward to what’s ahead.
However, if you’re struggling with the actual aspect of making friends (isn’t everyone?), here’s some tips on breaking out of your shell and meeting new people. It can be a scary thing, but in the wise words of Shia LaBeouf (and possibly Nike), “Just Do it, Do it.”
First things first, leaving your dorm is going to have to happen. There’s a big world out there and you’ve just got to dive right into it. Maybe start off small; hit up the local coffee shop, go to a baseball game, etc. As scary as it is to go up to a group of people, it’s worth it. Would you rather sit awkwardly alone in your dorm or at a game, or would you rather enjoy the actual company of other people. I’m hoping you chose the latter.
As hard as it is to actually make conversations with other people, it’s key. Instead of being the odd one out and not participating in the group conversation, add your two cents. I know speaking up in the midst of a group conversation is difficult sometimes, but you’re not getting anywhere by staying silent. I’m by no means saying you need to be the life of the party, but your contribution is important.
Hopefully these help out a bit. I know college can be scary without the issue of making friends on top of everything else. They make it all seem so easy on TV – if only that were truly the case. But hey, I have faith in you and that counts for something, right? Right. Go get em’ tiger.
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